Oak Leaves
by Writer-by-day
Summary: PostODW: After the death of Matalina sends the Hollows gang into a deep depression, Rachel, Ivy and Jenks are forced to pay more attention to the reality of the pixy life-span, what this means for our favorite threesome, and what they can do about it.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys, I've wanted to write something like this for ages and finally got around to doing it. I've got exams for the next two weeks so I might not update right away, but it's coming no worries. **

**DISCLAIMER: I dun own any of the characters or story boards. They all belong to the wonderful and amazing Kim Harrison. **

**Chapter 1**

The setting sun had turned the garden into a magical fairytale landscape, everything was moist from the afternoon rain and it shone gold, bathing everything into shimmering gold and green. It didn't even look real, the smell coming off the moist plants and trees drifted through the kitchen window and into my body. Lightening my heart, and easing the tension in my muscles. Pixies floated lazily through the beams of golden light, oblivious to the beauty of it all.

Sighing, I finished drying the last pot from my macaroni and cheese and placed it in the last cupboard in the row. This kind of mental solace I hadn't had in a long time. Not with everything that had been happening. Jenks had lost Matalina this winter, he hadn't been the same since, sorrow filled my chest just thinking about it. His health had been slowly declining since then and he'd forced me to take out some of his kids for trial replacement runs. It had almost broken my heart.

I felt the tears coming before I could stop them, and blinked rapidly to stop them from falling as I watched the pixies with a new sense of urgency. My eyes unconsciously went to the drawer where I knew the slip of paper was hiding. Ceri had handed it to me a couple days after Matalina had died. I hadn't looked at it since that day, but by the Turn I had thought about it. I hadn't told anyone about it, Ceri hadn't said anything when she gave it to me, but it weighed heavily on my mind.

A long sigh pushed its way out of my lips and I leaned up against the sink. Ivy was hurting just as bad as I was about Jenks, and had buried herself in her work. I hadn't seen her in a couple days. I couldn't do the same, seeing as every time I worked without him something went wrong. I couldn't tell him that though, not without making him feel guilty.

No longer seeing the garden I stared out the window, jumping at the sound of pixy wings coming through the hole in the screen. Jenks flitted in, looking tired and coming to land beside me. I watched him in my peripheral vision as I continued staring evenly out at the garden, afraid that if I watched him closely he might read my thoughts.

Cursing something too quiet for me to hear he kicked a droplet of water on the counter and splashed it across the backsplash and all over Mr Fish's bowl. "Damn it Rachel, I can't do this anymore." He exclaimed. I sighed, I could feel the frustration coming off of him in waves and I wished there was some way I could just wrap my arms around him and take it away.

"I can't even out-fly my youngest anymore. You know that?" He continued. I shook my head, not able to say anything. It was always me he came to…

"Jenks, I don't know if I can keep running." I stated finally, I forced myself to look at him, and meet his bright eyes. Memories of those eyes flashed through my brain and I felt those damned tears come back. I blinked rapidly.

Jenks shot upwards, "What do you mean you don't know if you can keep running?" He asked his voice sharp. He rose to my eye level and I had to look away again, my face hot with unshed tears.

"You knew this was going to happen Rachel, I told you straight out." He continued getting in my face again. His voice was angry, damn angry, but the pain laced into it was more prominent.

"I know." I shot back, unsuccessfully trying to sound mad. "Jenks, it's just so hard, after dad, and…" I swallowed the lump in my throat, and the pain that had seeped into my chest, forcing myself to say his name, "Kisten, I don't know if I can do this anymore." I stated, the tears were falling whether I wanted them to or not, and I sniffed.

"Shit Rachel!" Jenks swore, red dust fell from him like rain, swirling in the breeze from the open window. He landed on the counter again, turning his back to me and my tears, preferring to look out the window and into the garden. I watched him take a deep breath, his wings moving with his chest. "There's nothing I can do and it's driving me bonkers." He admitted, not turning around. He sat cross-legged in the other direction.

"It already feels like I've outstayed my welcome," He began and I jumped a finger of cold running down my back. "Rache, Mattie's been gone two months now, I haven't slept well since. I just… I miss her so much…" My heart fell. "And my kids are moving out, they can all take care of themselves and the garden." He pushed on, the emotion in his voice sounding high and strange coming from him. "I can't even fly straight Rache, how am I supposed to do my job?" He asked.

I pulled a chair out from the table and sat beside him, on his level. My arms resting the edge of the sink, and I rested my chin on them. Tears were still falling, but I was ignoring them. He turned, his eyes searching mine, "Rache, I wish I could stay, you know how hard this is? You and Ivy are the best friends I've ever had, and knowing that in a hundred years you two could still be working when I'm dust? I hate the idea that I won't be here to help, but even if I could stay, what would I have left? Everything I've worked so hard for is drifting away." His words were sharp, but the regret softened the blows. This was nothing I hadn't thought about before. My heart sank into my stomach, and I took a deep breath. I held out my hand and he walked over and sat down, obliging me with an exasperated look.

"Tink's titties Rachel, stop that. I'm not gone yet; don't you have something to do?" He asked, motioning towards my tears. I sighed and shook my head no. His dragonfly wings twitched with annoyance and he stood and walked over to me, until he was centimetres from my face. He used the sleeve of his shirt to wipe a new tear away, his face unreadable at such a close distance. "It's just the way it is." He added quietly, his voice bitter.

I nodded slowly, "I know." I agreed, another tear fell quietly.

"Then why are you still crying?" He asked, he carefully used the tip of his wing to remove the tear and shook it off.

I frowned, "Why do you think Jenks? I love you, and forgive me for being selfish, but I don't want you to die." I sighed, "You're my best friend, I know you're hurting and I can't do shit about it." Even as I said this my eyes went to the drawer and then back to him, my heart jumped.

"The feeling's mutual then." Jenks stated stepping back, he shook his head, a thin smile forming on his lips. From this distance I could see his yellow curls fall in his eyes. "It'll be okay Rache, one of my kids is bound to work out…" I shook my head, annoyed I sat up, my eyes finding the drawer again. Insides shaking I reached for it and opened it. I grabbed the folded paper and set it down on the counter in front of me.

Jenks glanced down at it and then back up to me. "Jenks, Ceri gave me this when Matalina died. I'm only going to ask you once, but I want you to know I'll totally respect whatever answer you give me. I want you to really think about it though, don't answer right away." I stated, my eyes flicking to the paper. I tried to stay calm but my heart was pounding in my ears.

Jenks walked over to the paper and unfolded it. Looking apprehensive his eyes scanned the paper intently as he hovered over as he read. "T-this would make me big again?" He asked looking at me. I nodded, my eyes going back to the spell written on the paper, I had done harder spells with Al, but this one was complicated and Al wouldn't be taking the imbalance this time. Ceri's curly scrawl was written on the bottom, _lengthens life._

"I don't know how much longer you'd live…" I began; my hand ran through my dense frizzy curls unconsciously.

"Rache, this is stealing time, it isn't natural." Jenks began. I nodded,

"I know, but…" I sighed, I was a really bad girl for even hoping that he'd say yes, but I'd have to give him the choice. If I didn't I might regret it the rest of my life. I took a deep breath, "You said yourself you wished you could stay, I know it's not natural but shit Jenks, after everything we've done don't you think we deserve something?" I asked, my forehead crinkling with anger.

"Rachel, you should know better then this. You said yourself bad things happen when you use black magic." Jenks started, his eyes smouldered with an emotion I wasn't familiar with. I shook my head,

"Not this time. Not with demon curses." I stated, I would take the imbalance when I made the spell, and for Jenks I'd take it a hundred times over if he asked me to.

Jenks was shaking his head, obviously thinking the same thing. He shot upwards, getting in my face. "No Rachel. No, the last thing I want to do is hurt you. I saw what happened when you changed the focus, I never want to see you like that again. You're a good witch Rache." He fumed, the buzzing from his wings hitting a pitch that hurt my ears. I winced.

"Jenks, don't make this about me. Just don't." I stood, "If you want this I'm doing this for you. Jenks I'd take 1000 years of demon smut for you. It would hurt me more to lose you." My tears were long gone, my determination remained. I glared at him and he backed off. I sighed again, forcing myself to calm down.

"Jenks I'm not going to pretend to know what you're going through, hell, I'm not even going to pretend to know what you're thinking. It's your choice what you want to do but please, don't make this about me. Make it about what you want, talk to your kids, think about it, but don't make it about me. If it's only going to hurt you more to be big then don't." I stated softly. He landed on the ladle and turned towards me.

I heard him sigh, audible across the room. I knew he was thinking about Matalina, "I don't know if it would hurt me more…" He stated finally. The room was silent and I let out a deep breath, relieved that I had finally gotten what I had to say out.

He wasn't going to survive very long in a life he felt he was already he should have left. I poured myself some coffee and sat down, my eyes going back to the window; the gold was gone, leaving only the deep blue of the spring evening, the air was spicy with the smell of late season fires and new growth.

The clatter of wings reached me and I felt him land on my shoulder. "I don't know Rachel, I have to think about it." He said quietly.

I nodded, "Take as long as you want Jenks."

He walked towards me and I looked down as much as I could. My heart was still pounding and I was suddenly afraid of what he might say. His wing grazed my cheek, it was light, and gentle. "Thank you Rachel." He stated finally, and then he was off through the pixy hole in a flash of wings.

I took a sip of my too-hot coffee, and it scorched as it went down. Hope weighed heavy on my chest, but it was selfish to hold onto it for myself. Even if what I was hoping for was a hug smelling like green and springtime.

I had loved Kisten, and after losing him and shouldering the burden for so long I couldn't believe what it might be like for Jenks, after 12 years of loving someone with all his heart, I didn't know if he had the strength to continue after the light in his life had been snuffed out.

He had told me once that we were his family, but could that really be enough to keep him here? He'd have to adapt to living in a different body, living by the rules of a society not used to the rough and brutal life most pixies had to live through to survive. But damn it, I wanted him to live. Selfish or not, I wanted him around, no matter how little that time might be.

I watched Mr. Fish swim around in his bowl, I was giving him the choice, and what he did with it wasn't my decision. Whether he took advantage of it or not wasn't as important as being able to provide it for him. My tongue felt like cotton as I took another sip of the bitter hot liquid, trying to find the comfort in the situation and still only coming up with fiery nerves.

**Will he go big? Will he choose not to? Will Ivy ever find her way into my plot line? Will I edit the next chapter better? Hit the watch button and find out… and ehh, review too? **


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

**Ok, this is originally about twice as long as it is now, but I split up the chapters so now you have two to read. I'll post chapter 3 sometime tomorrow. This one isn't that great but the next on is much better so keep reading. This is just a bit of a 'remembering Matalina' chapter for those of you who feel bad, like me. **

**DISCLAIMER:**** As always I dun own anything written by Kim Harrison, characters, plots etc… Nor to I claim to do as good a job writing characters, plots, ect… as she does, but when a plot bunny humps… Who am I to deny it a little love?**

**Thanks a lot for those who reviewed the first chapter.**

**Chapter 2:**

I searched my kitchen for the right ingredients, the book open on my counter tempting me with smells from the past. The well worn cook book brought a small smile to my face even with my nerves the way they were. I pulled out the baking chocolate and set it beside my already greased pan. I was making this a thoughtless process for myself, my mind not able to concentrate on anything else.

I remembered when he had come home after we had gone to retrieve the focus. I remembered the love I'd seen after only a week of separation from his Mattie.

_He'd walked in the door, still big, and almost fell over when Matalina had flown into his head. They'd almost knocked over the flour container. The little pixy had attached herself to his cheek, "Never leave me like that again!" She had shrilled, rails of tears falling down her face as she bawled with happiness. Her little dress more then dishevelled. _

_The look on Jenk's face had been a look of such relief I thought he was just about ready to cry himself. _

"_Rachel." He had said finally, looking down at his hands and then at his wife. His eyes pleading as he felt the little woman repeatedly kiss his cheek. "Turn me back." He jerked as he felt an entirely new sensation. _

"_Tink's panties Rachel!" He had yelled, looking longingly at the little pixy, who was… no longer on his face but had migrated further south. His face was tight as he stared at me and then his head snapped down._

"_Matalina!" he had groaned, "Oh God Rachel, turn me back." He pleaded, his voice so full of want it was making me feel bad for him. _

"_Turn me back __**now**__!-" Tears had begun streaming down his face as he stared at me, his voice hoarse._

_And I had. They instantly fell into each other's arms. "I missed you so much." Jenk's tiny voice travelled through the kitchen, followed closely by a scream of delight, totally uncharacteristic from Matalina whom I watched get dragged to the stump._

_I don't think I'd ever been in as much awe as I had been in that moment, my mouth hung open and I hadn't had the piece of mind to shut it. Kisten had been laughing and Ivy's only stoic response had been "Horny little things, aren't they?" Kisten had given me a hug, still chuckling, and I could only shake my head._

Chuckling at the memory, I lumped the chocolate into the bowl and put the butter on top, ready for the microwave. Disheartened, it didn't seem likely he was going to take my offer. He'd been out there for about an hour, and after sitting and feeling sorry for myself I had decided to make the ultimate comfort food.

Pixy wings clattered into the kitchen and my head shot up, _so much for subtlety._ I finished unpeeling the last stick of butter and plopped it in the bowl with the chocolate, before scooping up the rest of the wrappers and putting them in the garbage can with shaking hands, my stomach doing nervous summersaults.

"What'cha makin' Rache?" He asked landing on his ladle. I looked up and sent him a smile.

"Brownies." I answered grabbing the bowl, shoving it in the microwave, and hitting the buttons. My thought process had been if he didn't say yes, I'd have brownies, and if he did, _we'd_ have brownies.

My original thought process had been a cold beer, but if he had said yes, I'd have to do the spell intoxicated, and if he'd said no I would have had another beer and woken up with a headache. Worst of all was if he went undecided for a couple days, in which case death by alcohol poisoning would roll over my plans of seeing the new vampire flick coming out in a month. At least with brownies I'd have to exert some effort to make them.

I smiled at my inner thought-process and grabbed the bowl from the beeping box, spatula in hand. I removed the bowl and stuck it on the counter, Jenks hovered over me as I stirred the messy looking bowl of calories.

"Oh, you're going to need more chocolate then that." He stated and I frowned up at him.

"Why?" I asked as he landed on the edge of the warm bowl and dipped his finger into my batter.

"Because I'm going to eat more then that." He answered quickly. I don't remember dropping the spatula, but I remember jumping when it clanged off the bowl. He stuck his fingers in his mouth and scowled, "You will be putting sugar in them right?" He continued, grinning at my expression.

"Y-you're gonna do it?" I asked, relief running through me like liquid. He chuckled at me.

"Yeah Rache, I'm gonna do it." He stated, he dipped his finger into the batter again and shuddered when it went into his mouth. He walked over to the sugar canister and pushed it over to me. "That's just nasty." He added.

I sighed, "Its bittersweet chocolate and margarine, I wonder why." I shot back, laughing with relief. I found myself staring at him and shook my head, "Are you sure?" I asked quietly.

He shot upwards, "Yeah, you two need me more then my kids do." He chuckled at my expression, "I'm going to die either way, and I might as well die in a body that can actually be helpful in a fight." He rationalized. I ran a hand through my hair, and grabbed the right measure. I measured out the right amount of sugar and dumped that in the bowl too, using the spatula to stir it in.

"And your kids…?" I asked, turning to grab the eggs, I wanted to make sure he wasn't just making a rash decision.

"Josephina said she'd rather have a big dad then no dad." He stated, I smiled at the logic. "The rest of them said something to the same effect." His eyes shone as he went back to the batter.

"Much better." He commented, I rolled my eyes at him and his batter covered hands. I cracked the eggs on top so he couldn't eat anymore until they were baked. He gave me an annoyed look and flitted back to the center table. He walked over to the spell and read it over.

"Wanna scare the crap out of Ivy?" I asked, reading his mind, and pouring the batter into the pan. Jenks watched as I put the pan in the oven, a smile grew on his face.

"Hell yes." He squeaked, I laughed at his expression, my heart feeling light as I leaned up against the counter to face him, ankles crossed.

He sobered a bit, "I owe you okay?" He asked, and I shook my head.

"You don't owe me anything Jenks, I want to help." I stated, wincing when he shot up and towards me, getting in my face.

"I owe you." He decided, his voice harder this time, red sparkles sifted down to the floor with the gold he'd been losing. He hit the peter pan pose hard.

I nodded, and he backed off. "Good." He sounded relieved. "Do you want me to go get Ceri?" He asked.

I frowned, surprised, "No I should be able to do it just fine" I decided, I had assumed he would have wanted to at least spend one more night a pixy. "Unless you want her here to make sure I don't screw up." I added, watching Rex pad into the room, her long claws clacked lightly on the linoleum.

Jenks shook his head, "I trust you." He stated, following my gaze to the cat. "She's probably out with Trent anyways." He stated. I frowned,

"I hope she kicks his ass again one of these days." I decided. Jenks laughed,

"She probably already has, you should see the way she looks at him, like he crapped on her daisies." He quipped; he landed on the ingredients list again. "We have everything on here. I'm game if you are." He decided.

I was grinning despite myself, "I'll get the equipment you get the plants?" I offered, checking the time on the oven, before pulling out my tiny shot-glass sized spelling pot.

"Sure thing Rache." Jenks answered, he hovered over the paper for another second before shooting out of the kitchen. That was it; I couldn't contain my grin any longer. I couldn't believe any of this was happening.

Just hours ago I was afraid that I would lose him forever, now I was going to be able to give him a hug. My heart was light despite the effects that this spell was going to have on my soul. I left the kitchen to go grab a pair of pants from my room. They had been inherited by me after I had changed Jenks back to regular size. I folded them and tossed them on the counter, I was going to miss that pair.

Maybe I could get Ivy to take him out and I could steal them back. Still grinning I grabbed the spell from the counter and read through it, rummaging through the cupboards as I did. I heard several different pixies come in through the hole in the screen and looked up. 4 of Jenks' kids had a variety of plants between them and they put them carefully on the counter. "Thanks guys." I stated smiling at them.

They beamed back, all of them lit up. "No sweat Miss Morgan." One answered, I recognized him as Jack and sent him a wink. "You guys are all okay with this?" I probed, making sure, I knew Jenks would never do anything to hurt his family but I needed to be sure.

All of them nodded. "Don't tell him we told you, but he's really lonely." One of the girls stated winking, only to be wacked by another sibling. "He wants to take care of you and Ms Tamwood." The wack-er finished. "He won't live much longer if he doesn't, not with mom gone, we can take care of ourselves now, and he's got nothing to protect. We don't live very long without something to protect. A big dad is better then no dad and he deserves it." The third one rationalized.

"It doesn't bother you?" I asked. They all shook their heads. I smiled, "Alright, you guys want some brownie batter, I haven't rinsed the bowl yet." I offered.

They were in the bowl before I could blink, giggles reverberated out of the inside and I chuckled, not sure how Jenks would take me offering the kids the rest of the batter. I wasn't sure if brownie batter was as potent as honey, but it was pretty sweet. I grinned; they were some of the eldest in any case.

Ignoring the singing now coming from the bowl I grabbed my candles and set them up in a circle. Then moved onto sorting the rest of the herbs the pixies had brought in. I had just begun mashing up the mint leaves when Jenks came back in with the rest of the plants. He took one look at the singing bowl and then at me, his eyebrows rose.

"They deserved it." I stated by way of an explanation; the chorus of 'I've got a Lovely Bunch of Coconuts' got rowdier, and I grinned innocently.

Jenks rubbed his wings together, making a sharp whistle. "Ok, enough of that. Tink's nylons 'Kah you're covered." Annoyed sounding moans came from the bowl and the four pixies took to the air, movements noticeably jerkier as they made their way out of the screen.

"Jeeze Rache, knowingly giving my kids sugar? That's a new one. I thought them breaking all your stuff was bad, and they aren't on sugar for that, but intoxicating them, in the kitchen, is just a whole new level of danger. Are you sure that complex of yours isn't getting worse?" He asked. I sent him a glare, and then laughed.

"I don't know, I'm making you bigger aren't I?" I asked. He chuckled and landed beside the bowl I was using to chop up my ingredients and settled into watching me prepare the spell. It was going to be a long night.

**Yeah, it's a bit of an abrupt ending, but I was going to put a break in the page here anyways. The new chapter is coming tomorrow sometime for sure. Thanks for reading!**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

**Alright chapter three! I honestly don't have a plot for this one so I don't know when the next one is coming… heh heh heh heh –shifty eyes- **

**DISCLAIMED!!**

It didn't take me very long to make the spell this time; I was finished in about 4 hours. I finished stirring and took the potion off the heat to cool. Jenks had fallen asleep about an hour in, it being his regular sleepy time. He had been silent since last time I had glanced at him sleeping in the ladle. So I jumped when I heard his voice slice through the silence of the room.

"Done?" He asked. I nodded, and turned around. I placed the spell on a hot mat beside the finished brownies.

"We gonna do this again Jenks?" I asked, my pulse quickened and I smiled at the memory of him hyperventilating on the counter, naked.

"Yeah." He answered coming down from the ladle. He positioned himself on the counter top cross legged beside the steaming cup, his wings twitching. He looked tired, but shrugged at me when I raised my eyebrows.

"Let's do this." He stated, his wings whistled again and the sound of approaching pixy wings filled the quiet night air. The brood entered the kitchen in a plague of commotion. Sounding more like a herd of elephants then 54 pixy sons and daughters, but that might not be a fair assumption for the elephants. I watched the eldest ones push the kids back to the door frame, the arguing for the best seat commenced until Jenks whistled again.

"Settle already." Jenks directed irritably. They did, surprisingly. Jenks flitted up to face the family, and I watched as he made eye contact with all of them. Making sure it was still okay. I suspected the hugs happened before now, but he went through each one. I felt uncomfortable. It felt like I was taking him away from them. I bit my lip, reminding myself that he would have died anyways. I tore my eyes away, as I felt blood rush to my face.

I turned back to the potion and used the finger stick, lightly massaging three drops of blood into the pot. Immediately the room began to smell like burnt amber, I scrunched my nose up at the smell. Laughter floated down on me from the doorway and a smile was born and grew on my lips. "Dad, don't touch my _hair_!" Came someone's annoyed exclamation.

Jenks came floating down beside me on the counter again, a grin was plastered on his face. "And you thought demon magic was a sin." He stated. There was an annoyed huff from the doorframe and he shrugged at me. Jenks looked happier then he had in months, and that made it hard to be nervous about the spell. In fact I was so excited that anticipation was making my fingers twitch.

I glanced at Jenks and he nodded before I closed my eyes and whispered "Rhombus" I felt the circle shoot up around me and opened my eyes to see my piece of tarnished ever after floating around me. My excitement came down for a second as I watched my whisky coloured soul float around me, tarnished with what resembled oil stains. Jenks eyed me as he picked up his pixy-sized cup, guilt reflected back at me through his eyes.

"Rache, I-" I rose my hand to stop him.

"It's fine." I stated motioning for him to drink up. He shook his head,

"Rache, I don't want you to… It's not right, you shouldn't have to." He put the cup down and I glared at him. I let out a deep sigh,

"Jenks, don't. I have time to get rid of it, I'm doing this." I didn't really know how to get rid of it, but I had time. It was the truth. "Listen, it looks bad, but it'll be okay." I assured. I watched him scuff his boots on the counter.

"You don't know that." He snapped, his voice sounded tired, any of the good humour it had held before had disappeared.

"Yes I do," I snapped, running a hand through my hair. He raised his eyebrows at me. "because you'll be around. Now drink the damn potion." I snapped. "I put in enough time making it for you." I added.

Jenks sighed and picked up the cup again, looking defeated. A smile quirked my lips, _I can be stubborn too, pixy boy_. He brought the first of the potion to his lips and gulped it down.

"Does it taste different this time?" I asked curiously when he went for a refill. He shook his head, a scowl creased his forehead.

"Nope." He stated, before he brought the little cup to his lips again, and slammed it down. I wondered how he was getting air in between gulps, but I figured it was best not to ask. He finished his second cup and belched, the sound echoing off the walls of the small kitchen, even through the sheet of ever-after surrounding us. The pixies on the doorframe were whispering their tiny voices making the air buzz.

My nerves increased tenfold, this was really happening. It wasn't just the crazy dream I had every time I looked at the drawer. He dunked it one more time and finished off the potion, dropping his cup in the pot. Looking a little desperate he glanced up at me. "Any time now Rache, I gotta pee." He stated. I couldn't stop my grin until my nerves hit.

I walked over to him and he sat obligingly on the edge of the counter, his wings twitching with nerves. My eyes went to them for a moment and guilt welled up in my stomach. He stared at them too, looking longingly at his family and then back up at me. I tried not to let it get to me, but when I extended my hand over him, it shook.

I closed my eyes and tapped the line in the graveyard, the power filling me like a breath of fresh ocean air. It filled my body until I released it and it ran through me like water through silk. I felt like I was coming home every time I tapped a line, the power felt so natural sometimes. It was better this time, I realized, the anxiety wasn't there.

I opened my eyes just to say the magic word; I avoided meeting Jenk's eyes as my hair whipped in an unnatural breeze. "Ready?" I asked, and he nodded on the cusp of my vision. I knew he didn't like seeing me like this, and for a second time shame welled in my chest before I could suppress it. I was doing another curse, another demon curse. Taking a deep breath I channelled the energy in my mind towards Jenks and whispered, "_Augmen_."

Instantly the magic took on the colour of my soul and I watched as Jenks was wrapped in my dark amber aura. Then squeezed my eyes shut as a bolt of power ran through me and hit him with a crack. As soon as I heard the crack I was hit with the blackness.

It was overwhelming, it squeezed my chest shut until I couldn't breathe, I didn't remember falling but my butt hit linoleum and I scrambled to put my hands out to support my body, breaking the circle at the same time. They gave out and I tried to take a breath as I fell back even further. _I take it!_ My brain screamed. The constriction seemed to lesson a little and I took in some air, with a relieved gulp. Tears fell from my eyes as I opened them a bit and stared hard at the floor, trying to remember how I'd gotten there. _Dirty, God, I'm so dirty…_

"Rachel!" A semi-familiar, lightly masculine voice exclaimed somewhere above me. There was a crash from the hanging utensils, but I couldn't bring myself to tear my gaze from the floor, not with the tears rolling down my cheeks. There was a shuffling noise and I heard someone come towards me. Two very bare feet came into my swimming view and then warm hands wrapped around me and pulled me up.

"God, please be okay." The voice was stressed and I looked up to meet new leaf green eyes. "Stupid witch, how did you talk me into this?" He cursed. Relief ran through me like water.

"Jenks?" I asked intelligently, I pulled myself up and ran a hand unconsciously through my hair.

"Are you okay?" He asked his mouth was a line of worry. I was quickly getting my energy back. I nodded,

"I'm fine, I'll be ok." I assured, I pulled myself up so that I was leaning on the bottom cupboards. I closed my eyes took a deep breath. The pain was slowly dissipating.

There was a light hand on my shoulder and I opened my eyes again.

Jenks wavered in his crouch and his breathing was a little fast, but he looked okay. Curls fell in his face but he hadn't bothered to push them back. "Hi" was the only thing I could think of to say in this situation, and despite the worry in his eyes, his lips curved upwards into a small smile.

"Hey." He answered quietly, it was only now that I realized the pants I had set out for use in this situation hadn't been put into use yet and I struggled to get to my feet.

"There's some uhh..." I motioned toward the counter and his gaze followed mine to the dark fabric. He snatched them up and gave me a nice view of his bare ass as he pulled them on. It felt like a weight had lifted off my shoulders as I watched him struggle to remain balanced on one foot. Pixies raced around the kitchen, emitting excited screeches and squeaks as they all spoke at once.

A smile tugged at my lips. My eyes, still wet with tears, filled up again. I waited for him to turn around. "Alright, everyone out, I said you could watch, I didn't say you could buzz around like a swarm of flies." Jenks admonished, and he took a deep breath. His family swirled around a bit more before flooding out of the kitchen.

He turned around and ran a tired looking hand through his hair. My breath hitched, I hadn't realized how much I had missed him being big. He looked tired; there were dark bags under his eyes that hadn't been there before. He still looked like a yummy freshmen though, despite being at the end of his life. There wasn't a mark on him. His eyes met my wet ones and I still couldn't comprehend the colour green they were. It was like looking up and seeing sunlight filtered through a canopy of leaves.

His skin was already tanned, even though we hadn't had much sun this spring yet. He had wide shoulders and a thin toned waist. He still didn't have a speck of hair on him except for on his head, eyebrows, and lashes.

"Sorry about…" He motioned toward the air in the room, breaking the silence in the room. I shook my head,

"No problem." I answered quickly, I tore my gaze from him, realizing that I was staring. Tears stung my eyes, but they were from relief. "You're uh, okay?" I asked, glancing back up.

We stared at each other for a moment, calculating our own level of 'okay.' Then he smiled and I couldn't help but smile back. We both stepped forward at the same time, closing the gap between us, and wrapped our arms around each other. It felt so good; I almost melted into his arms. I buried my head in the crook of his neck and just inhaled, he smelt like Queen Ann's lace and fresh leaves.

"Christ Jenks, I was so worried about you." I confessed. His arms tightened around me. "I'm so, so sorry about Matalina… I-" Tears fell from my eyes as the emotion I had been holding back for so long found its way out.

I felt him take a deep breath, and my arms tightened around him. He let the breath out shakily; his warm breath tickled my neck, sending shivers down my spine from nostalgia. "It's okay Rachel, you're okay." His words were choked in emotion. He ran a light hand over my back and I shook my head.

"Thank you." I whispered, and I wiped my eyes before pulling back, he drew his hands to his sides and looked at me. The awkward silence was back, his green eyes were red but no tears had fallen, _damn the man was strong_. Suddenly embarrassed, I turned around to grab his empty spell pot and put it into the disillusion vat, before putting it into the sink with the brownie bowl.

I was pretty sure he wasn't much better then I was, and this gave us both a bit of time to breathe. Ivy was going to kill me for not doing the dishes right away, but I was a little distracted at the moment.

"I'll uhh, go up and get the rest of your clothes in a minute. I have a couple of your shirts in my closet you can grab if you like." I stated, turning around, jumping when I realized he was still big. He nodded, his face calm, his eyes stressed. A thought struck me,

"Didn't you say you had to pee?" I asked, raising my eyebrows. His face went from calm to panic.

"I'll be back." He stated hurriedly, his speed impressive as he ran to the bathroom. He hit his shoulder on the doorway with an audible thunk and swore before the door slammed. I chuckled despite myself.

I went and got the box of clothes down from the attic, when I came back he had the dishes washed already. He turned around as if caught doing what he wasn't supposed to be doing, like a four year old caught scribbling on the living room wall, an embarrassed blush spread across his face. I grinned at him and set the box down.

"Bored already?" I asked, he shrugged, a wry grin spreading across his youthful features, a look too old for someone that looked so young.

"A brave statement for someone already trying to get back into my pants." He decided crossing his arms, and cocking his eyebrow. I snorted, surprised he had noticed.

"You know how bad that sounds?" I quipped, only to receive a mischievous grin.

"Yes." He stated innocently, his eyes wide. I laughed and he grabbed a dish towel and began drying the bowl, chuckling as he did.

I walked over and grabbed the dry bowl from him, and put it in the right cupboard. He grabbed the spell pot this time, groaning at how small it looked now that he was big. I smiled at him when he handed it to me.

"You look tired Jenks." I observed. He sighed his eyes showing emotion again while the rest of his features didn't.

"I don't sleep much anymore." He confessed, "Not since she…" He sighed and looked away, "Tink's tampons Rachel it's hard to know what to do with myself now that she's not around." The frustration in his voice marred the sadness. He walked over to the window and looked through it into the darkened garden.

"It just doesn't seem the same without her." He continued. My heart broke and I shook my head, and walked over to him and placed a hand on his still bare shoulder. He winced at the touch, but when I went to pull my hand back he reached up and covered my hand with his own.

"I meant it when I said thanks Rachel." He said quietly. He didn't meet my eyes, just took another slow breath. "This is the only way I can keep going, I'm going to die knowing I did everything I could for you and Ivy and that means a hell of a lot. You two gave us so much and she would have wanted me to do this. I just always thought I'd go first." He explained, a tear fell down his cheek silently and caught in the light of the high moon. He didn't go to wipe it away, instead he turned to me, a ghost of a smile lighting on his features. His fingers tightened around mine, and he shook his head his curls falling back into place,

"That's one hell of a curse Rache." He mused, his green eyes sweeping the garden. He moved his hand back down and raised his eyebrows at me and then turned to grab himself a brownie. I chuckled as I watched him hack out a horrendously large piece of chocolate and sugar.

"It sure is." I agreed. He offered me the pan and I cut myself a smaller piece beside his giant square. I watched him inhale the baked goods with a quiet smile. _Same old Jenks…_

"That's good." He mumbled through a mouthful.

"Oh I know. My mom used to make them on special occasions; I'd always find a way to whip out the cookbook." I stated taking a bite of my own.

"Like what?" He asked, "Oh mom, it's Tuesday, that day ends with 'y,' brownie time!" His voice took on a high falsetto and he cocked a hip at me.

I raised my eyebrows, "Maybe not to that extent… or that pitch… but yeah." I stated wincing at the noise. He laughed and I relaxed a bit and leant on the counter.

"So what do you want to do to Ivy?" I asked, he chewed and swallowed. When he looked up at me his eyes glinted.

"Oh, I have some ideas." He started. "All you have to do is give me enough time to make my entrance." He explained cryptically.

I rose my eyebrows at him, "What are you going to do?" I asked. He sent me a shit eating grin.

"That's for me to know and you to find out." He stated crossing his arms.

"The world is doomed." I joked, then thought twice, "Nothing too bad okay? She's as, if not more, worried about you then I was." I cautioned, I took another bite of brownie.

He sighed, "I know." He wiped his hands off on his pants and sent me a frown. "Damn woman hasn't let me take her out on a run since Mattie got sick." He continued.

"She's just worried." I decided. "She doesn't know how to deal with it, hell, I've been through it before and I'm still foggy on the details." I explained sending him a sympathetic smile.

I pulled myself onto the counter, and pulled a red curl out of my face. I popped the last of my brownie into my mouth, and enjoyed the late-night breeze blowing on the back of my neck.

"She's coming down the road." Jenks stated cocking his head in the direction of the street. I raised my eyebrows at him, and he shrugged, "Meet her at the door, I'll catch up." He decided pulling himself up.

"She's home early." I stated getting down from the counter and walking towards the front door. It wasn't even sun up.

I crossed the room in seconds flat and waited until I heard her footsteps out on the concrete. Her insanely high heels clacked as she came up the stairs and I took a deep breath, ruffled my hair a little bit and instantly morphed into actor Rachel.

I forced myself to pale considerably and swung the door open, radiating the panic I had felt just an hour before when Jenks had been changed. Ivy jerked when I swung the door open before she could slip the key in.

"Rachel? What's wrong?" she asked quickly, she pocketed the keys and searched my eyes, I shook my head, forcing myself to hyperventilate just a little bit, my pulse rose. I bit back the smile of satisfaction which gave me the look of a grimace.

Ivy's face was dead serious, her leather jacket and pants reflected off the bright moonlight, it took everything in me not to laugh. "I-it's Jenks, something's wrong, he's in the kitchen and…" I stammered, my fake panic surprising me. Damn I was good.

Ivy's face changed from surprised to worried and I grabbed her hand and pulled her into the house. "What's wrong with him?" She asked, paling considerably.

I licked my lips, "He's-" I started,

There was a rustling behind me and I wheeled around to see Jenks standing in the doorframe, looking like sex incarnate, his hip cocked suggestively, the arm leaning on the door came just above his head, his bare chest shone off of the moonlight coming in through the front door. He cocked his eyebrows at me and I smirked back.

"-In your panties." He finished for me. It was then that I realized he had on one of Ivy's lacy red thongs over his black pants. I had to cover my mouth to keep from laughing. I quickly glanced over at Ivy and I saw a flash of a camera go off. Jenks had pulled my camera out of nowhere and taken a picture of Ivy's face…And by the Turn, was it priceless.

She gaped open-mouthed and looked both mad and relieved at the same time. Jenks un-posed himself and walked a bit closer. I was laughing; I couldn't keep a straight face anymore. Jenks was grinning. Then she was on him, giving him a hug.

I was as surprised as Jenks looked; he stared at me wide-eyed through a veil of her dark hair. "Shit Jenks I was so fucking worried." She exclaimed. I watched him reach up and wrap his arms around her, looking awkward.

She pulled away just about as fast as she had come. "Get out of those; you'll stretch them out, bug." She snapped glaring at him, her relief fading into anger. Then she turned to me, "Why didn't you tell me?" She asked her eyes sharpening.

I winced, "It kind of just happened tonight. You know me, not much with the planning." I explained, Ivy sighed.

"Rachel, where's he going to sleep?" She began, her eyes moving to the couch. I rolled my eyes,

"Ivy, he's not a puppy, we've got a cot in the attic he can use until we can clean out something more permanent." I explained, unconsciously twirling one of my curls around my finger. When she met my gaze I dropped the hair, noting her pupils dilating slightly.

"Rough night?" I asked. Our relationship lately had been comfortable in a sad sort of way, both of us had regrets; both of us didn't care to share them. We both didn't want to have to talk about what happened again. She shook her head affirmative in a small but meaningful gesture. I sighed.

We both watched Jenks slip off the underwear and sling shot it back through Ivy's doorway like a pro. Once again reminding me of the man's seemingly endless talents; I was going to have to ask about that one later. I felt my eyebrows shoot up and he sent me a wink, _right, 54 kids… do pixies even wear thongs?_

"Tink's leopard print bra Rachel, you really had her going for a second there." He started, Ivy glared at him and he shrugged unperturbed. I grinned,

"I don't know how you managed to find those so fast." I commented grinning back, Ivy huffed. Jenks winked goofily,

"It's not hard when you know where to look." He purred wrapping his arm around Ivy's shoulders, she slapped him away and he winced. Rubbing where her hand had made contact.

"Damn it Ivy, I was just fooling around." He stated, Ivy glared,

"Go find your cot and go to bed, both of you are up past your bedtimes." She stated waltzing into the kitchen and opening the fridge. I didn't have to be psychic to know she was going for the carton of orange juice.

I rolled my eyes "Yes _mom_." I stated sarcastically. I looked towards Jenks, "C'mon, I'm not going to be able to get that thing down the stairs without help." I explained, heading towards the stairs. Jenks grinned,

"No problem Rache."

**Next chapter hasn't been written yet so don't expect it too soon. Thanks for reading! **


	4. Chapter 4

**I wrote this one mostly tonight, after being stuck for a while. I think I like it… We'll see what it looks like in the morning, but tonight, at 1:30 in the morning, it looks pretty good to me. I thought I'd post it, seeing as I haven't updated this one in a while. **

**DISCLAIMER: See first chapter. **

"Jenks, go to bed." I stated rolling my eyes at his annoying expression. He hadn't stopped moving since we had brought the cot downstairs, and as happy as I was to have him here, alive and big, I was tired.

He turned to me, his eyes innocently wide from where he stood on the couch. He had been trying to reach the heating vent. "Why?" He asked. I shook my head,

"'Cause I'm tired, you look tired, and Ivy's already in bed." I stated indignantly. We had set his cot up in the living room.

Jenks frowned, "I'll be quiet." He stated crossing his arms. I sighed, he looked like a put out three year old when he pouted. I opened my mouth to argue and then closed it again, too tired to really make an effort. Not with that face.

"Alright. If you need anything let me know. I'm going to bed. There should be a new toothbrush under my sink." The last sentence made me smile just a little bit, and I ran a hand through my hair before adding, "We'll go get you some more tomorrow." I stifled my yawn with the back of my hand and watched him tiredly. He nodded, his curls fell in his face and he dropped his hands to his sides. "Night Jenks."

"Good night Rache." He answered, before going back to the heating vent. I smiled and headed into my dark bedroom, not bothering to turn on the lights. I pulled on a long t-shirt and got under the cold sheets before falling into a contented sleep. _He was going to be okay._

* * *

I woke to the sound of someone breathing heavily in the living room, and bolted awake. My eyes immediately focused on the back of my bedroom door. My heart pounded in my chest as I picked up my splat gun from my bedside table as an automatic response. Taking a deep breath I got up, trying to make as little sound as possible and padded to the door.

Better not be another demon, because this was getting ridiculous. Ready with the ley line energy already in my head, I slowly inched the door open until I could see down the dark hallway. I saw nothing, just heard more breathing, _oh joy_.

I padded towards the living room with as much quiet stealth as I could muster, ready to yell for Ivy or Jenks at the slightest sign of anything out of the ordinary. I slipped past Ivy's door and then reached the living room's door frame, and taking slight cover behind the protruding wood. My hand tightened on the handle of the gun as I eased myself into the room. My eyes widened to take in as much light from the dark room as possible as I scanned for the source of the noise.

I jumped as my brain connected what I was seeing with the noise. It was Jenks, and he was crying. _Maybe he wasn't so okay after all…_

The room smelt like dandelion milk and the smell hit me like a slap in the face. I lowered the gun, my heart sinking as I watched his bare shoulders shake in silence. His back was to me so I couldn't see his face; his large form was silhouetted in shadow. My throat tightened and I swallowed.

"Jenks?" I asked, I willed myself to take a couple steps forward. He stopped, and I watched him take a deep breath.

"Go back to bed Rache." His voice was steady, but his head hung low between his shoulders.

I took another step forward instead and placed a hand on one of his tight shoulders. He winced back and I let go. My eyes roved the familiar room in front of me. The cot in the corner was still made; it didn't even look like he had touched it. My eyes flicked over the clock on the wall it was almost eight in the morning.

So I did the only thing I could think to do in this situation, I turned toward the kitchen to grab him a glass of water, jumping when I saw Ivy's lanky form already standing in the kitchen doorway holding a glass. She gave me the water without a word and I nodded my thanks.

My eyes met hers and I motioned with my head towards the living room and she shook her head, her eyes showing me more emotion then usual. I raised my eyebrows and she shook her head and did the 'kiss kiss' motion. She was afraid of hurting us. I nodded and she smiled thinly and mouthed 'sorry.' I shook my head and met her eyes again, the glass cold in my palm.

Regret flashed through them before she could cover it and then she nodded and silently glided back into her bedroom, her short-cut hair sticking up at strange angles from sleep, silhouetted in the filtered sunlight coming from the kitchen. She closed the door without a sound. My heart fell and I found myself left wondering if she'd ever find solace. She tried so hard, and I couldn't even fathom her deserving what she had.

I made my way back down the hallway and towards Jenks, I still hadn't seen his face and when I made my way back down the hallway his back was still toward me. His messy yellow curls stood in vast contrast from the rest of the dark room.

I handed him the glass without comment and he took it without looking up. "Sorry I woke you up." He stated sounding miserable.

I shrugged, "S'ok." I realized I still had my splat gun in my hand and dropped it on the coffee table with a dull thud. "Do you want to talk about it?" I offered feeling inadequate, I shifted uncomfortably. He shook his head no and I walked around him to the other side of the couch and sat.

He was eyeing my splat gun sitting on the table in front of us, his lips quirked upwards for a split second, and then he looked up at me for the first time. There was no evidence on his face of the tears that had been falling down it except for his swollen eyes. His familiar sharp features created shadows under his eyes and I was suddenly very concerned, _just how long had it been since he'd slept?_

Rex was curled up sleeping on the pool table and we both watched her paws twitch as she dreamt of running. I put my hand on his knee, he flinched. I kept it there and he relaxed just a little bit.

"You didn't really fall asleep in the ladle did you?" I asked finally. He shook his head and I sighed. The lump in my throat grew bigger. "Jenks this isn't healthy." I said finally.

He turned on me. "You think I don't know that!" He snapped. He got up and paced rather then sit, my heart sunk. "You think I can just get over it?" He almost yelled. "I-I can't close my eyes without dreaming she's there. I… Goddamn it Rache!" He brought his hands up to his shock of golden curls and ran them through it roughly.

"She was everything! It was me and her for almost as long as I can remember. She, she saved me. I…" He brought his hands down violently and clenched his fists. Tears formed in the corners of his eyes and spilled down his cheeks, his complexion became ruddy and he started pacing again. Taking sharp breaths, his shoulders twitched unchecked and I could just sit there; my mouth open, tears prickling my own eyes.

"It's like someone has me in a circle and the oxygen's running out Rache. There's nothing left, I can't sleep, I can't move, I can't go home without thinking about her. I just need…" He shook his head and stopped pacing. His face finally broke down; his eyes lost the sharpness of anger, only to reflect the sorrow in his heart. His lips fell from the scowl and the tears continued falling. He looked at me for a moment and looked away.

I got up slowly and tentatively wrapped my arms around his racked and shaking shoulders. He froze for a second, his brain processing the information. I thought he was going to push away, but instead both his arms came up and wrapped tightly around me, surrounding me in the sharp scent of Dandelions' milk and earthy moss. He leaned on me for once and I hugged him tighter.

He sighed, "I don't know if I can do this Rache." He confessed, his voice breaking, in the crook of my neck, his warm breath penetrating my skin and sending warmth through my cold body. It suddenly felt like I had made a big mistake in asking him to go big and I sighed too. My heart had fallen so far it felt like it was in the cold floor. My heart thudded in my ears, loud against the silence of the room. I was afraid.

I opened my mouth but couldn't find the words to answer. _How was I supposed to respond to that_? I ran my hand up and down his constricted back. He looked so broken, so small. I'd never seen him look so small before. It scared me more then I wanted to admit to. I had some idea of what he was going through, I'd lost my dad, and Kist but… this, this was different. Jenks and Matalina had been married for 12 years. I'd never had a relationship last longer then a year, and as much as I had loved my dad, it was never intimately.

I settled for pulling back and using the pad of my thumb to wipe the new tears off of his cheeks. His eyes searched mine and I reached around and handed him the glass of water. He took it gratefully and gulped some down, giving him time to calm a little before he handed me the empty glass. I waited patiently on the couch until then.

The next time he looked up his eyes were dry, his mask back on. I smiled a little and took the glass to the kitchen without a word. When I came back he was still standing in the same spot. "You know, when my dad died, I couldn't even drive past the hospital where he'd passed. I'll always find some excuse, some, stupid lame excuse not to go past there." I chuckled a little bit, "I'd just spent so much time there watching him go…" I shook my head. "It's stupid, but for a while I couldn't go home, couldn't go anywhere, and mom, Christ, mom was hysterical. She'd force me into remembering…" I frowned, feeling goose bumps go up my arms at the memory.

I ran my hand through the giant mop of red frizz living on my head and glanced up at him. His face was unreadable and I sat back down on the couch and motioned for him to sit beside me. He did, and relief flooded through me liquid like water. I had been really afraid that he would bolt after everything.

I heard him take a deep breath and calmed just a little. I wanted to tell him it would get better, but I had no idea, it had never gotten better for me, just older as more and more things got piled onto my life. I'd look back sometimes and be surprised at how much or little the memories had faded.

"I'm sorry Jenks." I whispered and he looked at me, as if coming out of a trance. Like he was surprised I was even still there.

"I can't sleep Rachel, not without her. If I wake up and she's not there I just…" He was babbling now, "I can't… It's just too long since…" I exhaustion showed on his youthful features, as unnatural looking as a penguin in the Sahara. I wrapped an arm around his shoulders and he flinched again, and I took a deep breath, knowing what I had to do.

I stood and lead him to my bedroom, when we got to the bed I motioned for him to get in and he gave me a questioning glance, his youthful eyes wide and scared. "It's ok, I won't do anything." I stated feeling strange. "I'll be here when you wake up, it'll be ok." I whispered.

He blinked, his beautiful eyes round and opened his mouth, "W-what about Ivy?" he asked finally. I shrugged,

"I'll deal with it." I stated, crawling into bed and hoping all the way back to the Turn that he'd follow. I let out a deep sigh of relief when he did. Awkwardly.

He got in beside me, his body rigid with fear. His muscles constricted as I pulled the blanket over us both. I then wrapped my arms around his cold tired body and he stiffened even more.

I rubbed his shoulder with my free hand. "Hey, it's just me ok?" I assured, I took a deep breath and he breathed with me. I felt him relax a little and I wrapped my other arm around him too. Slowly he relaxed until he had me snuggling into his body heat, his breathing became regular. I watched the shadows grow on the walls of my bedroom as the sun rose as I waited for him to drift off into much needed sleep.

Finally I thought he was asleep, I was just about there myself when he shifted a little bit, taking my hand in his big warm one. I almost jumped but swallowed it back. He placed a tender kiss on my hand with his hot mouth, his leg wrapped around mine, "I missed you so much love." He mumbled, he kissed my hand again, "So much Mattie…" He whispered his voice raspy with the emotion he'd shed.

Tears, hot and large, filled my eyes and spilled onto the pillow. I hoped to god he didn't smell them, but it seemed he'd finally fallen into a contented sleep. I tried to stop them, but only more fell, and then he shifted into me in sleep and I took a deep breath. Feeling like I had just walked in on the teacher and a student having sex, the intimate moments I was never supposed to see, I felt the blood rush to my cheeks for no one to see.

I tried in vain to fall asleep for a long time, not because I wasn't comfortable; it was a little obvious Jenks had slept with a woman in the same bed for most of his life, but because of the heavy thoughts on my mind.

I heard the brackets on my bedroom door slide open just a little bit and I glanced up to see black silk in the hallway. _Ivy. _

Our eyes met even in the darkness of the room and then she nodded and turned her bed head still prominent. Her cheeks shone, and that's when I realized she had been crying, I watched a drop captured in the light of the hallway fall off the bottom of her chin and my heart broke. She never showed this much emotion. Guilt welled in my chest as I thought about how screwed up we were, all of us, and then any light that might have aided my vision disappeared as she closed the door silently.

I slowly drifted into a light sleep, full of visions of my dad, and Kist's dead pale eyes.

**I'm not sure when this will be updated, but it will be. If you can't wait check out my other Jenks/Rachel entitled 'Storms' Thanks for reading. :)**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5:

**Okay, it took me ages, I'm sorry. When I first started this fic I wasn't sure where to go with it, now that I have a direction, updates will start coming sooner. Thanks for putting up with me.**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own the back story or characters, nor do I profit off of writing this in any way. **

**Chapter 5**:

I woke up feeling tired, the bed beside me was empty, but that wasn't a surprise. I hadn't expected him to stick around. Hopefully he'd gotten some sleep in though. My stomach hurt when I thought about what happened last night. I slid out from under the sheets and pulled on a pair of jeans. I ran a brush through my hair and made my way to the kitchen. It was way past dark, and Ivy was already up. She was thumbing through the paper. There was fresh coffee in the pot.

"Hey." I stated coming in and pouring myself a mug. She looked up and then back down to the paper.

"Morning." She greeted quietly. I glanced out the window to see Jenks sitting in the backyard cross-legged and talking to a cloud of pixy children.

"How's he doing this morning?" I asked wincing when she looked up.

"Better I think." She answered shortly.

"Look, Ivy, I'm sorry about last night. I couldn't think of anything else to do and he needed the sleep bad." I started.

"It's fine." Ivy stated quickly. "I just wish…" Ivy ran a hand through her hair and shut the paper. She looked up at me her dark eyes regretful. "I wish I could have done something." She said quietly.

I nodded, "So you're ok with him…" I made a 'nudge' gesture and she frowned. I watched her run her hands through her spiky hair and then she nodded.

"Yeah. Just, be careful." She stated quietly. I wanted to grab her arm for a moment but she got up and sat at her computer instead.

"Rachel?" She asked finally as I settled on a bar stool rather then pursue the feeling. "If there's anything I can do…" She started.

I nodded, "I'll let you know, promise." I reassured. She held my gaze for a second, before going back to the computer, mouse clicking her unopened emails.

I sat back on a barstool and stretched out of habit. The clock on the microwave said it was 1:30 in the morning, which meant it was really 2:45. Ivy had tried programming it a hundred times, but it always slowed down. It was a good microwave though so I wouldn't let her go buy a new one. It didn't bother Jenks or I, me cause I never really did care about the time and when I did I had Jenks, and Jenks thought it was terribly funny to watch Ivy get pissed off at the microwave.

I sipped my coffee and watched though the window as Jenks got up and walked over to the stump. The pixy cloud followed and then Jenks laughed and got up. I tore my eyes away from the scene and grabbed my spell book. Wondering if I had any sleep aid spells that didn't involve that terrible wake up headache everyone loved so much.

I looked up when I heard the screen door open. Jenks walked in looking happier then I'd seen him in a while, his smile faded a little bit when he saw me. I tried not to let it get me down.

"Morning." I stated cheerily turning to the right page number for the section I wanted. His smile returned and he ran his hands through his hair in relief.

"Hey Rache, finished drooling for this morning?" He asked innocently. Ivy snorted from the corner and I turned to stare for a moment, she just sent me a smirk and I went back to watching Mr. Pixy. He went to the fridge for the carton of orange juice and I glared.

"I don't drool!" I exclaimed indignantly. I slammed the book shut, _no spell for you._

He turned around and grabbed a glass from the cupboard, "Well not much, when you're awake. Then you fall asleep and Tink's panties, it's like someone just opened the floodgates." He stated pouring his drink and returning the carton.

Ivy started to chuckle and I raised my eyebrows, "Hey, if you'd rather sleep on the lumpy cot be my guest." I stated, sipping my coffee. I watched Ivy watch the clock, "Run tonight?" I questioned, ignoring Jenks' look from behind his glass.

She nodded, "I have to go in a minute. I'll bring pizza home?" She asked, I nodded, thankful that I didn't have to cook.

"Sounds good." I agreed.

"Back-up?" Jenks offered. Ivy thought for a moment then shook her head,

"I should be fine, just a grab and run." She got up and grabbed her coat and bike keys. She slid on her sunglasses even though it was dark out and she didn't need them. Her lanky, tall frame filled the room and the smell of leather and incense filled the air. She grabbed her helmet and swung out of the room. The only sound was the screen door sounding with a loud click.

Jenks' sigh echoed off the walls and I chuckled, "She still won't take you out." I sent him a grin when he looked over at me. My grin faded when I saw the look on his face,

"You ok?" I asked slowly.

He raised his eyebrows. "Rachel we need to talk." _Aww crap._ That was one of the worst things that could have ever come out of his mouth.

"Look, it was the only thing I could think to do, and I know you didn't ask for help but you need to sleep Jenks." I blurted trying to avert disaster for just a little while so I could think of some way to run out of there.

My eyes ran through the room as I tried to find an exit I could get through faster then he could go. I looked back up at him, "I wanted to thank you." He stated a rose coloured hue colouring his high cheek bones. He ran a hand through his curls and glanced up at me, his eyes both sad and uncomfortable.

I couldn't help my smile, "You're welcome. Did it help?" I asked.

"It did. Until I woke up and realized you gave up your bed for me Rache." He looked away and took a deep breath. I raised my eyebrows as I watched his lean chest go up and down.

"I didn't give it up Jenks, I was lying right there." I reminded him. He looked terrified for a moment and I chuckled.

"I don't mind Jenks." I reiterated for him. He just shook his head,

"You shouldn't have to-" He looked up at me, his green eyes wide and surprisingly innocent. "I should have been able to…" He looked away. His hands slid into the pockets of his tight fitting jeans, the ones that hugged his hips just perfectly…

I bit my lip, "Don't be sorry ok? I told you last night, and I'll tell you again, it's just me." I walked over and grabbed his hand. He hesitated for a moment and I squeezed lightly.

He glanced at me, the moonlight hitting the side of his face and throwing him into contrast with the rest of the room. His angular features frowned down at me and then his face relaxed a little. His hand squeezed back a bit. "You don't have to worry about me, just do what you have to do." I whispered.

I bumped my hip against his taller one and smiled up at him, relived when his lips curled upwards. He bumped his hip back and I chuckled, my eyes squinting past the moonlight streaming through the window behind him.

I let go of his hand when I felt him shift uncomfortably, "Besides," I stated grinning at him as I walked over to the coffee pot and refilled my mug, I took out another mug and filled one for him too, "You are terribly comfy." I decided, winking and handing him his mug.

He raised his eyebrows, "Am I now?" He asked, a small smirk lit his features, but never touched his eyes as he searched around for the sugar. I handed it to him and nodded an affirmative before going for my book again.

He chuckled at me and I watched him dump his usual horrendous amount of sugar into the mug. "Phone's gonna ring." He stated glancing up at me and then at the phone. I frowned at him and the phone rang, I went to put my book down but he was up and picking up the receiver before the book even touched the table.

He sent me a grin and picked up the phone "Jenks, Tamwood and Morgan, Vampiric Charms, Jenks speaking." He answered smoothly. I raised my eyebrows at him and he just shrugged, as he listened to the other side his forehead creased into a frown. I opened the book again and went for the table of contents, still listening intently to Jenk's side of the conversation.

"May I ask who's calling?" He asked politely, he rolled his eyes at me and waited for the response on the other end. His eyes widened,

"As in Robbie? Rachel's brother?" He asked. I snapped the book closed, my heart in my throat, I hadn't talked to him in years, what was he doing calling me?

"No I'm not her boyfriend." He frowned, "I live here." There was another couple seconds of silence before he glanced at me in silent question, and I nodded. He handed me the phone.

"What do you want Robbie?" I asked, I got up and paced rather then sit. Nerves bit at me, I hadn't talked to him in so long.

"Is he gay?" Robbie asked, his familiar voice bringing back the familiar emotion of complete and utter annoyance.

"No Robbie, he's not gay." I snapped, my eyes going to Jenks who was at the kitchen table. He dropped my spell book and motioned for me to give him the phone. I shook my head no and smirked at him. I then dodged his lunge with a bit of difficulty.

Robbie, oblivious to the commotion in the kitchen and Jenks clambering for the phone pressed on "Fuck buddy?" He asked. I stopped moving, Jenks, having heard this comment from his struggle to grab the phone, which he was winning by now, stopped dead and doubled over in laughter.

I almost dropped the phone, shock ran through me like a bolt of electricity. "Robbie!!" I snapped, my voice rising decibels as I did. "He's a pixy!!"

"You have a pixy answering the phone for you? Can pixies even answer phones?" Robbie asked. I sighed,

"First of all, he chose to answer the phone and secondly, of course they can answer phones." I glared at nothing in particular. Jenks rolled his eyes from across the room, laughter over as he listened intently to the conversation over the phone. He made the hurry up motion and I nodded.

"You have 5 seconds to explain what the hell you're calling about before I hang up." I added quickly. Jenks face palmed, and I focused my glare on him for a second before beginning my right as a younger sibling.

"Why's he living in your--"

"5, 4--" I started

"I need a place to crash for a couple days in Cincinnati." He started. I groaned, running hands through my hair.

"And you want to sleep here? You have to be freaking kidding me. I haven't heard from you in years!" I exclaimed.

"Mom and… _Donald_ stormed my garage Dolly, I have nowhere else to go." He began. I rolled my eyes,

"and you can't afford a hotel room?" I asked worry cutting through my exasperation. "Robbie, this isn't really a good time, with Jenks living in here now there isn't much room in the church."

The other line was silent for a second, he must have been on a cell phone 'cause it cracked and buzzed, "What church?" He asked finally.

"I live in an old church, haven't you seen the newspaper?" I inquired, I sighed, "Never mind, look Robbie you're just going to have to find somewhere else, this week isn't a good week." I started.

"Rachel, we need to talk face to face" He answered, I frowned at his stubbornness and jumped when I heard dial tone.

"Turn it all." I cursed glancing at Jenks and slamming the phone down, "What does he think I can do about this?" I asked frowning, "I can't even keep myself out of trouble for a weekend and he thinks I can somehow fix THIS?" I exclaimed, walking toward the coffee pot, times like this called for even more caffeine.

Jenks watched me from his chair, his curls falling in his eyes, he was grinning. I raised my eyebrows at him, "What?"

"Nothing _Dolly._" He mocked. I glared again before taking a deep breath, inwardly cursing pixy hearing for the millionth time.

"Don't even start Jenks." I ran my hands through my hair, and took a deep breath that should have been more cleansing then it was. "Now they're all going to be down here." I gulped some hot coffee and winced as it went down.

"Fairy farts Rache, it can't be that bad." He stated. I shook my head,

"I haven't talked to Robbie in years Jenks, and now he wants to come for a visit? He up and left when I joined the I.S. he left mom and me alone, and he knew mom wasn't right, how can he just barge his way back in again." I fumed.

Then a thought struck me, "Crap…" I muttered. I turned to Jenks we was looking amused, "I need your help." I stated. He frowned.

"You remember when my old apartment was cursed?" I began, he nodded,

"Hard to forget the land lady Rache." He agreed.

"You remember my CD collection? Well, when Robbie left I kind of inherited some of them and now he's going to want to know where they went…" I started.

Jenks laughed, "Now you sound like a sibling. One brother is nothing Rache, try having 20." He chuckled. I frowned,

"Just don't mention CDs ok? I'm putting away all the CDs in the living room." I stated walking into the living room, Jenks followed me looking amused,

"What makes you think he's still coming over?" He asked frowning. I left my coffee cup on Ivy's piano and grabbed a handful of my CDs,

"He may be nothing like me, and I haven't talked to him in years, but he's never said he was going to barge into my room without doing so." I mumbled, glancing around for somewhere to put them. I found a box under Ivy's desk and started stacking.

Jenks sat down on the couch and watched me stack, "This is going to be interesting isn't it?" He asked cocking an eyebrow.

I sighed from my position on the floor, "Maybe for you Jenks." I rolled my eyes at him, "What in my life isn't interesting to you?" I asked turning to face him.

He chuckled, leaning back on the couch and resting his head on the palms of his hands. Curls fell slowly in his face, and he spread his legs a little just to get comfortable. I don't think he noticed how good he looked, sitting there, in my semi dark living room, with moonlight caressing his hair just right, and his lean strong frame displayed to me so openly. He looked absolutely delicious. Shaking his head and flashing me his perfect pearly whites he answered matter-of-factly, "Lots of things, running, bridge trolls, coffee, your 'I need to be in danger' complex…" He shrugged and laid back even further, "Hell if you didn't get me in danger every once and a while, you wouldn't be interesting in the least."

I frowned at him, "What makes you think Robbie will put you in danger?" I asked. He laughed at me this time, before sitting up.

"He's a Morgan isn't he?" He questioned, raising his eyebrows. "Besides, if he finds out about your CDs apparently you're going to feel his wrath." He stopped as if considering something for a moment.

"How do you plan on breaking this to Ivy?" He asked finally.

I shook my head and he got up and walked over to my desk, he went for my over due stack of mail and I was too distracted to care at the moment. What was Ivy going to think about this? She certainly didn't react to change very well, and Jenks being big was a big enough change already. Sighing, I decided to cross that bridge when I got to it.

"I dunno." I answered shrugging. I finished clearing my CDs and got up with the box. Lugging it to my room with a bit of difficulty, I needed to sort through them, this was crazy. I shoved the box under the bed and headed back in the living room.

"You better not touch my runner's pass renewal." I warned Jenks. He picked up the envelope and handed it to me as I walked past. "Do we need Cotex?" He asked.

I stopped, "What?" I asked again frowning.

"There's a coupon here for Cotex." He stated waving it in the air. I frowned at him.

"You know what Cotex are don't you?" I asked.

He shrugged, "Yeah. Do we need any?" He asked.

I choked, "No I don't need any, do you?" I asked laughing a bit and feeling awkward at the same time.

He raised his eyebrows, "Rache, I don't know if you noticed, but I'm a male." He put his hands on his hips, my eyes couldn't help but follow, "Unless that's how you look at girls too." He smirked a bit when he noticed where I was looking, "And I don't think it is." He continued cocking an eyebrow.

I shook my head and forced myself to meet his eyes, "Ask Ivy, she does the shopping." I stated at long last, before shaking my head and reminding myself that he in fact did have numerous daughters and a wife. _Well_, I reminded myself, _had a wife_. I glanced up at Jenks and was suddenly surprised to see him acting so normal after last night.

I marvelled at his ability to adjust. He was watching with an amused look on his face, and I couldn't help but smile at him, before shrugging and walking back into the kitchen to look for that spell.

"What about toilet paper?" He called after me, I chuckled.

"If you're so worried Jenks, go check." I answered, picking up my book and plopping myself back down on a kitchen chair.

**Update should come sooner then this on did anyways. In the mean time, a review would be nice. Thanks for reading.**


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